Wallabys, bad art and a wedding.


Think my new match.com picture

5 days in Sydney – and as soon as I landed I  hit the decks running. I am not one to just sit back on my bum and wait for things to happen and bad luck to those who want to play with me!! The first thing is coffee -and  before we even got to a friends place, I had had 2 excellent coffees, eaten a meat pie and finger bun, snuffled an apple, bought and eaten Lebanese bread and searched the local shops for an ANZAC cookie – something I did for the next 5 days!

It was 5 days of family, friends, food, tension, tennis, a wedding, a swim, a few runs, wallabys, kookaburras, whip birds and one hell of a bad drawing exhibition,  an angry mother and misogynist painter. I am glad to be back in the States …….


Dobell Officiandos

“His images  arrive straight through the nervous system and hijack the sou”l…. the Times, UK

Pretty good quote right? Who writes that shit?  Well there is nothing more exciting to experience than being a single, middle aged mum, going to a misogynists exhibition at a huge gallery and trying to get meaning out of deformed faces, cubes, monkeys, trapezes and a sort of circus of rotating images – the best I could do was  reference my relationship with my family –  is that the  truth!  Bacon seemed to live the consummate life of debauchery and art – something I dream about since I have been on match.com……..


Bad Drawing

Then there was the drawing exhibit – What the FUCK…..  when did watercolor become drawing??? and if I see another series of drawings that look like my 10th grader was bored in class and started doodling I think I will neck myself – note the winner of the Dobell prize for drawing!!! And for all you non Australian WIlliam Dobell is an iconic Australian painter so look him up!


Drawing Officiandos

walkManlyDamMy idea of fun in Sydney is to pack as much as I can into as little time as possible – so by the end of 5 days I will have been there and done that. Imagine my last 1/2 day and I have 3.5 hours to fill. I am having trouble talking to my mother – tension so I go for my last run through the bush to the water, past an old high school boyfriends house, while catching a glimpse in the local milk bar window and spotting the skin on my legs flapping as I shuffle my feet up a hill – terrific!
I hate middle age! My mum leaves for exercise class in her practical and flexible pants that make that swish swish sound as she walks down the hallway, and as soon as she leaves it is hit the decks running. I am meant to stay home and pack – NOT – Me and my youngest just have go to the mall to buy a few last items.

brasWe have 45 mins. We are off to buy a knife sharpener for a friend and the first thing I see is the bra section – Australia has the best bras – I need new sexy bras for my new dates – right. Raphael (13) and myself start riffling through the racks for a good design – imagine a 13 year old boy in the bra section  – think giggles, touching stuffing hands in the cups – probably not the most appropriate place for a mother to take her child –  when the attendant spots us! 15 minutes later we are at the counter with 2 bras, and a lady glaring at my son as he has holds the 2 bras behind her with a cheeky grin. Shit we are running late already. Forget the knife sharpener.

crabbyMumSo all we had to do now is pik up my other son and get across the harbour bridge, have coffee with a friend  and then get back home  in 1.25 hours. We have it made!! We pik Diego up and he forgets to lock the doors – not enough time and  them BAMMMM a traffic jam on the bridge, no way out, one direction, one road, so we sit and crawl forward. We arrived for coffee, when we should be leaving.  Then they forgot our order, 20 mins later we are heading back across the bridge.  Then “OOOPS mum we have a little problem?”  Diego casually states – he some how managed to lock MY handbag in the child proof seat belt. OMG we have to get it out, we fly in 3 hours! He tries, then my youngest, who climbs over the seats, bum in the air and nearly knocking the stick shift tries –  NOPE! So last resort …. we call my sister at work – do you really think she can just drop everything and  help us? YES!!!! They all  try for 10mins and her last ditch comment  was “just cut your losses and sever the bag”. We arrived home late me yelling,(just a wee bit)  my mother beside herself because Diego has left  the entire house  open, TV left on, used food on the counter and bags unpacked, I open the back door, stick a key in the slot and pop the buckle releases. Bloody idiots!


The OC mums Xmas Tennis photo

Next time I play with the OC mums I will be wearing a pink skort with compression pants …… think about that!


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